The original and still the best since 1997
Pasta Joke for Sara

By Anonymous

Leah and Sara were out of town. In fact, they were in the next town, cruising round in Leah's battered pickup truck looking for a washing machine spares shop. Or so Sara thought.

Leah drove into a large shopping mall, pulled up in the parking lot and together they read the big poster stuck to the wall of the largest store.





Underneath the writing was an old picture of a hapless tart wallowing in a bath of baked beans. It looked like an old charity photo.

The two girls burst out laughing. What an amazing coincidence! The pair of them out in the car, fifty miles from home, lost and where should they just happen to park up? Outside a food store hosting a bean bathing event. Amazing! And it was only half past eleven - they wouldn't miss a thing.

Sara didn't even smell the rat when the pair of them walked into the store and Leah headed for the door marked 'Manager'. But McGreedy himself beat them to it;

'Girls' he boomed 'Come in…I was getting kinda' worried.'

Inside his office sat a large old tin bath on wheels and the biggest heap of baked bean tins this side of Mexico. Sara and Leah both took coffees from the dispenser.

As the pair of them stood in the office drinking coffee, McGreedy disappeared and returned a minute later with a packet in his hand

'Will this be okay for you?' McGreedy handed Sara the packet. Inside was a stretchy one-piece nylon leotard…in white.

Sara very nearly dropped her scalding cup.

'Www… will it be what?' she spluttered.

'Yeah…you want some black hose to go with this…or a tutu maybe?' McGreedy could barely contain his laughter.

Sara regained her composure, and her coffee. 'No…this'll be fine' she said.

There was silence in the room. Then Leah began whistling the theme tune to The Great Escape. Sara was stitched up good and proper. Forget McGreedy, not even Steve McQueen was going to get her out of this one!

By the time Sara returned from her impromptu change of clothes in the store room, McGreedy's office was full of the sweet smell of tomato sauce as two fit looking shelf packers worked through the mountain of catering tins of beans, splashing their cold contents into the tin bath.

'Here, let's see ya' Sara' called McGreedy.

Barefooted, Sara walked over to McGreedy's desk and deposited all her clothes on his chair before walking to the middle of the room. At least the leotard fitted her okay.

'Nicest looking bean belle I ever did see' he said.

'I'm sure she'll look better in there though' quipped Leah, pointing at the rapidly filling tin bath.

'A nice baked bean shampoo never did a girl any harm.' McGreedy and Messygirl broke into laughter, but Sara was not amused.

McGreedy looked earnest for a moment. 'Okay, so Leah told me she's explained to you all about…'

'Pardon!' said Sara. Leah was staring at the floor, not daring to catch Sara's eye over this blatant lie.

'No…forget it…sorry to interrupt' she said.

'Yeah, like I said' continued McGreedy 'it's all about charity this thing. For a dollar, they can tip a can of beans over yer head and for two bucks, squirt ya with some of this.' McGreedy opened another store cupboard door and dragged a shrink-wrapped pallet of squeezy tomato ketchup bottles into the room.

Sara suddenly felt quite sick. The realisation dawned; it was about to be her - the hapless tart in the photo!

McGreedy checked his watch, looked across at the half full bath and nodded at the two shelf packers.

'Let's go' he said.

The trio walked out into the shop and immediately, heads began turning as the girl in the white leotard was lead, like a convict to the stocks, towards the pasta aisle. Once on the viewing platform, a sizeable crowd assembled as shoppers put down what they were doing to take a look.

The tinny public address system crackled into life.

'Pasta promotion starting in two minutes….that's the pasta promotion starting in two minutes at the far end of aisle three.'

Sara looked nervously around as the tin bath was wheeled alongside her, followed by the crate of ketchup.

At noon exactly, McGreedy addressed the assembled crowd.

'Welcome to McGreedy's and thanks for stopping by at today's pasta promotion. The benefits of including pasta in a diet are well known and here at McGreedy's……'

Sara couldn't make herself listen to McGreedy. Were people really that interested in pasta? Or were they here out of curiosity to see what her reaction would be to sitting in a bath of beans, to see what her hair would look like smothered in bean juice or to see if she'd dare take the leotard off? Faces, watching her, watching McGreedy and waiting for the moment.

'….so without further ado, I'd like to present this afternoon's bean belle Sara….Sara'

It was like a strange dream. McGreedy was beckoning her into the bath.
She stood in. Almost knee deep, cold and a strangely squishy sensation around her toes. Teenage kids were laughing in disgust, adults were looking on in bemusement. Was this silly tart really going to do this? Twice, Sara lowered her butt to within inches of the orange surface, and twice she raised herself and stood up again.

Then, to a chorus of ooh's, aah's and groans, she allowed herself to sink to the bottom of the tub.

'Oh my….oh boy.' McGreedy was loving every minute of this and still there was three hours and fifty-five minutes to go.

'Let's have a big hand for our bean belle ladies and gentlemen' he chuckled as Sara sat motionless up to her waist in the morass of cold baked beans. The crowd parted as the figure carrying the heavy bucket moved through. It was Leah of course, grinning mischievously, and as she moved closer to the bath, she called Sara's name.

'Guess what I've got for you?' she said teasingly.

'I have absolutely no idea' replied Sara.

'Look at me when I'm speaking to you!' chided Leah

Sara had no alternative. She knew what was about to happen, and sure enough, as she looked up, she received a pint of bean juice in the face followed by an endless torrent of cold beans. Leah put down her bucket and mashed the final handful of beans into Sara's hair.

The crowd really loved that little skit and were now all laughing at poor Sara's new orange complexion.

'Didn't she just deserve that?' encouraged Leah.

The crowd all nodded in agreement. Now it was McGreedy's turn again and he moved up behind Sara and began squirting a bottle of bright red ketchup on to the top of her head, before standing back to watch his handiwork run down her shoulders and into her cleavage. The crowd loved it! McGreedy had a glazed look in his eyes and Sara just had to look pleasant.

Within twenty minutes, Sara was a filthy bean slut, revelling in the foul smelling trough as shoppers queued to add their own tin of beans to the morass. Some were happy to pay a dollar just for another tin to be added to the bath whilst others enjoyed tipping their tin over Sara's head. Some were shy and got their kids to do it for them, whilst some (mainly lecherous men) chose the ketchup and invariably squirted it into Sara's face before firing the remainder down her cleavage and bending forward for a sneaky look.

With an hour in the bean bath to go, the tub was almost full. For ten bucks, one punter asked if Sara would submerge herself. Holding her nose, she slid beneath the bean surface to cheers from the shoppers. Now everyone wanted to see her do it again. The charity was doing nicely out of this.

After her tenth dunking, Sara came to the surface to an unfamiliar sensation. Someone was tipping a powder on her. Blinking through the bean and ketchup sheen she realised it was flour, disgusting cloying flour and she immediately slipped under again. Every time she surfaced, the flour was waiting for her until finally, she had enough, sat upright and allowed the flour to pour over her. With a white powdery cone on the top of her head, Sara turned round to view the perpetrator - Leah…the bitch!

'All white?' she asked.

Sara was speechless. At four o'clock, coated in a foul orange sludge, Sara was wheeled round the store and back into McGreedy's office. Everyone thought she just looked disgusting now, but more than two hundred dollars had been raised.

Leah was nowhere to be seen and McGreedy was sitting at his desk looking furtive.

'Sara' he began 'the swimwear company have asked me to help them with some err research…would you mind'? They err..want to test the elasticity of their garments in err…extreme conditions'

Sara could almost smell the bullshit, but as requested, she got to her feet and stood in front of McGreedy. She hadn't stood for over an hour and a little reservoir of tomato ketchup round her tummy oozed out of the elastic sides and ran down her legs. McGreedy was perspiring and almost shaking. Scooping a tin of beans out of the bath he asked Sara to open her top and he tipped the contents inside. Then another down the back of the leotard and so it went on. With the contents of twenty tins of baked beans inside her swimsuit, Sara looked positively pregnant, but still McGreedy persisted. As the swimsuit got heavier, Sara's cleavage got steadily bigger.

'Not many more now' spluttered a visibly shaking McGreedy.

Sara had had enough. She turned away and slipped the leotard off her shoulders.

'I think this is what we both know you want to see isn't it?

Sara turned to McGreedy as the slimy swimsuit slipped down her chest letting her filthy orange boobs spring into view. Then, taking hold of a fold of material gathered round her waist, Sara pulled the sagging swimsuit into the crack of her butt, accompanied by a splattering mash of beans as they fell into the trough.

Poor McGreedy. He took hold of the corner of his desk to steady himself and was visibly in need of a tissue.

'Now you little weed' began Sara ' I want you to show me to the shower and load up this lot into the back of that pick up out there.' Sara pointed out Leah's truck parked in the mall.

'' stammered McGreedy

'This is a supermarket, not a frickin' fitness centre. Leah was supposed to bring a Jerry can of water for you to wash with.

Sara was livid. No water, no sign of Leah and no word of thanks from the little squirt McGreedy. Forced to wipe herself clean with a box of paper towels, Sara felt as uncomfortable as hell as she pulled her clothes on in the confines of the store room again.

Leah had no idea why the back of her truck was full of buckets of baked beans and the old bath, but she was in no mood to argue with Sara. Sneaky McGreedy had sent Leah on a 'free' shopping spree whilst he carried out the little swimsuit experiment with Sara, and Leah knew Sara was mad at her.

Back at Leah's home, Sara, now feeling like a piece of sundried tomato bread, ordered her friend into the garage and carefully unloaded everything inside.

'Get out of your clothes' Sara ordered.

'What…why?' replied Leah.

'Just get them off!' Sara was mad.

Buck naked, Leah faced her friend.

'Get in the bath, open your legs and look up at me' commanded Sara.

Leah was mesmerised. She had never known her young friend be so forceful before and it was turning her on crazily. In the bath, Leah looked up at Sara. She knew what was coming. Bucket after bucket of cold, mashed baked beans splashed over her head, down her breasts and into her furry minge.

'This' said Sara ' is for leading me into the trap.'

Another bucket of beans splashed down Leah's front.

'And this'…yet another bucket over Leah's head and down her back, 'is for leaving me with that creep McGreedy.'

Leah just sat there moaning. Her right hand was immersed in beans playing with something saucy beneath.

'Now get out of here!'

Sara swung open the garage door, put her weight behind the bath on wheels and pushed it out onto Leah's drive. With a squeaky wheel alerting all the neighbours, Leah's little bean bus trundled to a halt. The gardener next door dropped his rake, the mailman drove his delivery truck over the curb and the poor old pensioner across the road nearly fainted as big breasted masturbating Leah reached a filthy orgasm in the privacy of her own neighbourhood.

Sara just hid in the garage and wet her knickers with laughter as her saucy friend pulled herself out of the bath and with big orange footprints, walked back inside. Revenge was sweet!

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